I Decide

This is a song (kind of) that i had written about 4 years ago, on the request of a friend with Drugs as the topic. Perhaps it didn't make it to wherever it was expected to....lol. Just for keepsake i'm posting it here.

I DECIDE

Temptations come my way
Once every single day
From someone who is near
Who's a friend or a peer
They say it'll make me cool
In college and in school
They think that i would choose
Their way, my life to loose

But...
I know what's best for me
And what i want to be
No one decides for me
Am as sure as can be
My heart can see the way
To a much brighter day
And therefore i decide
Don't need drugs by my side

Oh its a fact you see
Just one try can make me
Loose those i hold dearly
Grasping me completely
Leading my life blindly
I will not think clearly
And give in willingly
to this drug completely

See...
I know what's best for me
And what i want to be
No one decides for me
Am as sure as can be
My heart can see the way
To a much brighter day
And therefore i decide
Don't need drugs by my side

There are many choices
To run from these voices
Can you choose to stand strong
And keep from going wrong
Can you look inside you
And say that you can do
Without this drug that thrills
Which in the end but kills

Janet Lalmawipuii Ralte

Dieting - All in our minds

I have been adviced time and again to take control of my life and loose weight. It's true i do need it, i know. I have been needing to do it since i don't know when. And i have done a few things too with regard to my weight. It's not that i have just been sitting and doing nothing. I have tried often, sometimes i've been successful but not for long. I have tried medicines, dieting, taking food supplements, various exercise programs like yoga, going to the gym and what not. However, here i am still at the same place. None of the diet programs and plans that have done wonders for others have done anything whatsoever for me.

Just this week, i started with something new at the suggestion of my dear mother. I have started drinking green tea. I try to drink 2 cups a day, and i have also started eating raw aloevera, which i will, if i can go according to plan, eat every 2nd day, just before going to bed. And instead of drinking proper tea with milk and sugar, i have started drinking tea without milk and sugar. I used to drink at least 4 cups of proper tea everyday. So i do believe that this change will make a difference for me. My new plan for my health may not be much. It may not even make too much of a difference but i sincerely believe it will make some difference.

Why am i writing about all this? This might not be of interest to others, especially the men. Well, what i really want to point out is that dieting and all these are all in our minds. These things work when we really really really need it. We need to have the drive, the inspiration and its only then do we actually get down to it. So i don't think that we should just advice or tell anyone to go on a diet or take exercise, just because they need it so. If we truly feel that they should, we should try and create an environment for them to truly want to do it. The great need to loose weight has to be embedded in our minds accompanied by the desire to do so. And we also need to know again and again and again, the benefits of loosing weight like looking more beautiful (which is always most important for women), better health etc ( although all fat people have known these since a long time).  All these will result to dieting, as dieting is all in our minds, as is everything else.

 

Janet Lalmawipuii Ralte

DILEMMA OVER MY TRANSFER

On January 18, 2012 unexpectedly, something that i had long hoped for and dreamed about became a reality. I received my transfer order which was to enable me to live in my home town. Apart from the fact that i longed to be in my home town to be close to my relatives, it in fact was a necessity for me and my husband, as my mother-in-law is 82 years old and we, the only ones taking care of her were stationed outside of our home town. We were always worried about her as she isn't in her best of health and was too old to take care of herself. You can imagine the happiness i felt when i received my transfer order.

However, my joy soon turned into something very disturbing. My order clearly stated that a new recruit was to take my place, but my superior refused to acknowledge that, as my partner in my subject had just been released to be transferred to another place without any replacement. Its possible that my replacement wasn't actually a replacement for me and was actually a replacement for my partner, but i could not help but rely on my transfer order which clearly stated that the new recruit was my replacement. I approached my superior and although she tried to be very polite and happy for me, she denied me a release order because according to her, i had no replacement. And it seems she had informed the MLA about the situation and as is expected of an MLA, he ordered that my release be stayed until the elections were over. My order stated that i was to join my new place of posting within a month. And a month was to expire before the elections!

How troubled i was i cannot explain! I felt my hopes taking a dive into the sea of hopelessness. I was powerless and helpless to do anything. I spoke with many of my friends and relatives who gave me very encouraging and logical suggestions to get released and join into my new place of posting. And i will ever be grateful to all of them for being a support during that painful period of our time. We were deeply hurt but we knew that the Lord did not allow us to hate anyone or go against anyone in the process and that all these trials were for us to be sure that He alone could do wonders for us. My husband and I prayed endlessly to the Lord. I would have given up if it weren't for the hope that I had in the Lord who could do anything. And finally one morning I got a call from my superior who said that she was to give me a release order 5 days before the order period was over. I thank the Lord for that very moment of excitement and mixed emotions. And here I am today in my new place of posting happy that I am close to my loved ones.

I have to make a special mention to a special relative ( I am not sure if he would like his name mentioned here so i am going to keep it a secret for now) who has made this all possible for us. If it weren't for him i know i would not be here in my home town. May the Lord bless him and his family abundantly, both physically and spiritually. I will forever be grateful to him for all the time and energy that he spent for my transfer to be possible.

I had mixed opinions about posting this short period of my dilemma regarding my transfer. I hesitated for a long time fearing that my posting this might mean that i was on a rampage to hurt others who hurt me. However, i have convinced myself that i need to post it and keep it, as this blog is all about me, my experiences and emotions and what not. And with the kind of memory that i have, one never knows i might forget I am indebted to the Lord and a few very good people, esp. that special relative for making a hope and dream a reality for me.

Keep your trust in the Lord for He alone can do anything for you!


Janet Lalmawipuii Ralte

Is my way wrong?

Is my way wrong?
(Henry Lalmawizuala)

I have never gone the other way
I've never strayed away
I have never ever felt that i am wrong
But through all my complicated life
I've never been this lonely
Lord i need to know is my way wrong?

For i am now in pain
and my tears are on my cheek
there's a storm up in my head
and the light i see is dim
is my wrong? Lord
cause' i cannot see my way
i have struggled in this way
and i've always thought its right
if my way is wrong, Lord
then put me on the right path
if my way is wrong, Lord need you now
Is my wrong?

Many times i've tried to be the one
the one to die for you
but no matter how i try i never win
so release my mind of all my sins
and tell me that i'm yours
for i need to know
Is my way wrong?

Make things right (2008)

In solitude
i let my mind briefly tread
the life that i way back led

and sometimes wonder at 
all the things that i had done
things i had done for fun

Much joy it gave me then
my mind like a bird did soar
but it don't do that no more

becoz i have now seen
all its uselessness for me
results, i was meant to see

i blame myself alone
for all the useless things done
which can never be undone

i then wish there were things
i could do to make things right
to drop the burden that'd make the heart light

but see, this is the truth
there is nothing i can do
nothing one can do for you

for this is how life is
we do right and we do wrong
from birth to death all along

Herein lies the lesson
and herein lies the beauty
of our life on earth you see

the mistakes that i'd done
were there just to let me know
the right way for me to go

if it weren't for the mistakes
i had made along the way
i'd not have learnt to say

thank you lord for everything
that had come along my way
all the mistakes and regrets
will now lead me the right way


Janet Lalmawipuii Ralte

Beauty of Life!

Looking from my window
at the street beneath my door
i see people happy and gay
the others i cannot say

Some seem confused with themselves
others searching to find their selves
some seem worried with their life
and others show weight in their stride

Some think of all things possible
to get what they want in plentiful
some try to think of a way
to get enough to eat for a day

While there are others who don't seem to care
whats in store for them out there
revelling in the moment of their joy
which they really seem to enjoy

And I cannot help but wonder
who will be stronger when put under
a test to endure the misery
that life stores in our destiny

Is it those that worry to find solutions
or those that worry not to come to conclusions
all that i can do is question
and maybe at times give a suggestion

And this is the beauty of life
not knowing what its gonna be like
for if we were to know before
surprises we wouldn't adore
And this is the beauty of life
not knowing what its gonna be like

Janet Lalmawipuii Ralte

2012 - another opportunity!

It's something very natural for us to welcome 2012 but its an amazing experience for my 84 year old mother-in-law. Each new year after the millenium has been a wonder for her. This morning she told me how the pastor and elders in her church used to preach that the world would end in the year 2000. And so she, her friends and many people in her church were scared of the approaching millenium.

Anyhow what i really want to emphasize is our fortune in being given another opportunity to serve the Lord in every way we can. We have been lucky to have been given another year to be thankful to the Lord and to praise Him. There is a lady from Myanmar who claims to have died when she was 13 years old. She had gone to Heaven, seen it and was also made to see Hell. And there in hell she had seen a few people she knew and one was in fact a pastor in a church in her town. It was really difficult for her to remember the pain they were suffering in hell and she has time and again told her experience but with tears in her eyes. She remembers how the people burning in hell were asking Jesus for just another minute for them to accept Him and change their ways, but it was futile.

Aren't we lucky we have been given another whole year to serve the Lord. My dear friend, if you are by any chance reading this and have still not accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you need to take time to think about your life. Jesus Christ is the only one who makes us acceptable in the eyes of the Lord. For our sins are too many that nothing we do or say can make us pure in the Lord's eyes. You may be helping the poor and doing wonderful work in your society and maybe everyone in your locality is singing your praises. However, because of the mistake of Adam and Eve we can never be worthy to enter Heaven, it is only the blood of Christ that has cleansed our sins and made us God's Children.
Praise be to God who has given us Jesus Christ His only son to die for us! And Praise Him for He has given us another year 2012 to serve Him.

Janet Lalmawipuii Ralte